What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

HELLO

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why do people smoke?

Yes sir it is.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

{RING} {RING}

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is crossdressing being a transvestite?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

After a few moments he returns.